Christmas....Phew.

Santa arrived by firetruck-guided sleigh this year. Daniel asked for a flip-over car and a Transformer. Addie asked for a super hero costume. This was Addie's first face-to-face with Santa. She looked a little scared but warmed up to him after he discovered her weakness...candy canes.

Daniel and I made cookies for the Christmas party at his school. It was fun to see him be all boyish and spazzy with his friends. And I was relieved when a pro like Mrs. Luecke had to repeat herself at least twice to get 4 year olds to follow instructions. It's them. Not me.

The first family celebration was Christmas Eve at Great Grandma's new place. 14 people in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment. It was hot and the kids couldn't run around and there were a lot of breakable things within reach and white carpeting and I struggle with claustrophobia and Steve was working. But we still had a good time with cousins we don't see often and Addie received her first of many dress-up costumes.

Christmas morning at home...this was my favorite part. Steve pulled up the driveway a minute before the kids and I ran downstairs so we were all together to open gifts from Santa, sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, and watch the snow fall. Daniel got the first of 2 Optimus Primes....awesome.

Addie got her super hero costume. Santa ordered it from this shop on etsy that makes custom capes. So cute.

Addie's crime fighter face. Watch out.

After a lazy morning we headed to St. Charles for Christmas brunch at Sara & Bill's. I love hanging out with these guys. The food is always amazing and Blake and Austin wrestle with our kids the whole time we're there. More awesome presents for the kids and good time with family.

The fourth and final Christmas celebration the day after Christmas at Gram & Paw-paw's. Great Aunt Joann, Great Uncle Virgil and cousin Colleen joined us for a yummy dinner and more present mayhem. We had some quality time with Uncle Jason, Aunt Marie & baby Tucker, too.

And one last Christmas surprise...we welcomed 2 new members to the Hahn family. Meet Daniel and Addie. Daniel is top left. This morning while I was helping human Daniel in the bathroom human Addie fed the fish about 3 weeks worth of fish food. Tonight the tank is hazy and green, but the fish are still alive.

I'm usually sad to see Christmas end and I hesitate to take down my decorations. This year I had a meltdown on December 26th, exhausted and completely overwhelmed by new toys and zero storage space. I took the tree down last night just for the breathing room. And we started a "garage sale" pile in the basement. Next week we're moving Addie into Daniel's room so we can turn her room into a playroom and I will get my living room back.

Getting to Know This Girl

This photo makes me wish I could play the harmonica. Don't you just want to write a sad cowboy song about this child? Why is she so sad? Under that raincoat she's dressed as Woody from Toy Story, which is just who she wanted to be for Halloween. Is she sad because she's being asked to sit still and wait for her brother's preschool costume parade to begin? A parade she is not invited to march in. Your heart just breaks, doesn't it?

I was not the kind of girl that dreamed about wedding days, marriage and having kids. I knew I wanted all of that but I didn't fantasize about it. About the time my first baby was conceived I thought I'd better start imagining life as a mom and envisioned I would have a boy. And I did, which was a relief because I thought boys are more emotionally resilient and I could have more wiggle room to make all of the horrible parenting mistakes I was sure to make (have made) and I wouldn't completely destroy his heart. This isn't true, by the way. My son has an incredibly tender heart and I break it...often. When the second baby was on the way I assumed I'd have another boy. I admit that I was more worried than happy when I found out she was a girl. How do you raise a girl? I should know this, right? I have first-hand experience at being a girl. But my girl-being experience isn't something I look back on with a sense of accomplishment. I didn't (wouldn't) wear dresses or know how to do my hair. I wasn't charming or popular or graceful or athletic. I was awkward and chunky and embarrassed and asthmatic. How do I lead this little one through girldom when I was so lost there?

Luckily my fear has brought my desire to lead her to a screeching halt. And for now I'm just watching Addie unfold. She's tough, sweet, hilarious, snuggly, moody, and a terrible eater. She is just getting into princesses, dress up, and ballet; a provence of girldom I am unfamiliar with. But she can ride a tricycle like the wind and makes great laser gun and car crash noises, thanks to her brother. She surprises me. She is going to rock that Halloween parade next year. God, I pray she goes through girldom knowing she is yours.