Christmas....Phew.

Santa arrived by firetruck-guided sleigh this year. Daniel asked for a flip-over car and a Transformer. Addie asked for a super hero costume. This was Addie's first face-to-face with Santa. She looked a little scared but warmed up to him after he discovered her weakness...candy canes.

Daniel and I made cookies for the Christmas party at his school. It was fun to see him be all boyish and spazzy with his friends. And I was relieved when a pro like Mrs. Luecke had to repeat herself at least twice to get 4 year olds to follow instructions. It's them. Not me.

The first family celebration was Christmas Eve at Great Grandma's new place. 14 people in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment. It was hot and the kids couldn't run around and there were a lot of breakable things within reach and white carpeting and I struggle with claustrophobia and Steve was working. But we still had a good time with cousins we don't see often and Addie received her first of many dress-up costumes.

Christmas morning at home...this was my favorite part. Steve pulled up the driveway a minute before the kids and I ran downstairs so we were all together to open gifts from Santa, sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus, and watch the snow fall. Daniel got the first of 2 Optimus Primes....awesome.

Addie got her super hero costume. Santa ordered it from this shop on etsy that makes custom capes. So cute.

Addie's crime fighter face. Watch out.

After a lazy morning we headed to St. Charles for Christmas brunch at Sara & Bill's. I love hanging out with these guys. The food is always amazing and Blake and Austin wrestle with our kids the whole time we're there. More awesome presents for the kids and good time with family.

The fourth and final Christmas celebration the day after Christmas at Gram & Paw-paw's. Great Aunt Joann, Great Uncle Virgil and cousin Colleen joined us for a yummy dinner and more present mayhem. We had some quality time with Uncle Jason, Aunt Marie & baby Tucker, too.

And one last Christmas surprise...we welcomed 2 new members to the Hahn family. Meet Daniel and Addie. Daniel is top left. This morning while I was helping human Daniel in the bathroom human Addie fed the fish about 3 weeks worth of fish food. Tonight the tank is hazy and green, but the fish are still alive.

I'm usually sad to see Christmas end and I hesitate to take down my decorations. This year I had a meltdown on December 26th, exhausted and completely overwhelmed by new toys and zero storage space. I took the tree down last night just for the breathing room. And we started a "garage sale" pile in the basement. Next week we're moving Addie into Daniel's room so we can turn her room into a playroom and I will get my living room back.

Getting to Know This Girl

This photo makes me wish I could play the harmonica. Don't you just want to write a sad cowboy song about this child? Why is she so sad? Under that raincoat she's dressed as Woody from Toy Story, which is just who she wanted to be for Halloween. Is she sad because she's being asked to sit still and wait for her brother's preschool costume parade to begin? A parade she is not invited to march in. Your heart just breaks, doesn't it?

I was not the kind of girl that dreamed about wedding days, marriage and having kids. I knew I wanted all of that but I didn't fantasize about it. About the time my first baby was conceived I thought I'd better start imagining life as a mom and envisioned I would have a boy. And I did, which was a relief because I thought boys are more emotionally resilient and I could have more wiggle room to make all of the horrible parenting mistakes I was sure to make (have made) and I wouldn't completely destroy his heart. This isn't true, by the way. My son has an incredibly tender heart and I break it...often. When the second baby was on the way I assumed I'd have another boy. I admit that I was more worried than happy when I found out she was a girl. How do you raise a girl? I should know this, right? I have first-hand experience at being a girl. But my girl-being experience isn't something I look back on with a sense of accomplishment. I didn't (wouldn't) wear dresses or know how to do my hair. I wasn't charming or popular or graceful or athletic. I was awkward and chunky and embarrassed and asthmatic. How do I lead this little one through girldom when I was so lost there?

Luckily my fear has brought my desire to lead her to a screeching halt. And for now I'm just watching Addie unfold. She's tough, sweet, hilarious, snuggly, moody, and a terrible eater. She is just getting into princesses, dress up, and ballet; a provence of girldom I am unfamiliar with. But she can ride a tricycle like the wind and makes great laser gun and car crash noises, thanks to her brother. She surprises me. She is going to rock that Halloween parade next year. God, I pray she goes through girldom knowing she is yours.

Tiny Trees

Daniel had school this morning so Addie and I went to Hobby Lobby to return a picture frame and buy some wrapping paper. The wrapping paper selection was awesome and half off! And that's the problem with Hobby Lobby. On any given week half of the store is 50% off. It's so hard to say no to 50% off. Today was no exception. They had tiny trees, lights and ornaments all on sale. Years ago, the home of a family I know whose decorating sense I covet was featured in a magazine. It showed their house all decked out for Christmas and everything about it was magical. One detail I especially loved was that they put tiny trees in their girls' rooms and let the girls decorate the trees themselves. They were so sweet and hopeful. So after we picked Daniel up we started decorating. The kids loved it and can't wait to set them up in their rooms tonight. And the best part is the rainy day activity potential for these trees. Think of all the paper chains and ornaments we can make...

I love how they pile everything in one spot. Daniel decorated his with cars. Addie with ballerinas; her new passion. Video of Ballerina Addie coming soon...

The Business of Christmas

I love Christmas. I embrace the appearance of Christmas decor in stores even before Halloween. I was surprised that a local radio station started playing Christmas music 24/7 on November first, but I embraced that, too. I can hear my little tree calling from the basement (lame that we have a fake tree, I know, but it turns out I'm allergic to the real ones) and I want so badly to start decorating, but I'm too busy. Ironically I'm busy designing holiday cards for a licensing company along with my own holiday cards for my etsy site. And it occurred to me today that people who sell holiday items are always going to be busy right before Christmas. Duh. What did I get myself into? I did hang a new wreath on the front door to get a quick fix and I've clicked the Bing Crosby Holiday station a few times this week on Pandora. With a full work schedule through mid-January I feel the need to jam a little Christmas in where I can.

The Pumpkin Patch

Last week my super cute nephew Tucker was in town so we met him at the pumpkin patch for an adventure. Tucker isn't quite old enough to enjoy everything Rombach's has to offer, but he had a good time hangin' with the pumpkins and he found Daniel to be quite entertaining.

Gram lifted T on to the tunnel so he could watch Daniel yell "HELLO!" into a hole in the tunnel top. Tucker thought it was pretty funny. The kids inside the tunnel might have lost some hearing.


After exploring the fort, the old fire truck and tractors, and making obligatory animal noises at the farm animals we headed out to the field. Steve was playing around with the camera and somehow made the pumpkins glow in this one.


Finding the perfect pumpkin can be exhausting....


After a quick nap, the kids found their favorites and we headed home. Thanks for a fun afternoon at the pumpkin patch Gram and Tucker! Jack-o-lantern pics to come....

Potty Time

Addie is potty training. She started off with a few messy days, but seems to be catching on. I don't want to jinx it.

Tonight Miss Hannah watched the kids while Steve & I went to a wedding reception. Hannah told us that Daniel went into the bathroom while Addie was on the potty and sat on the floor. Hannah asked Daniel to come out and give Addie some privacy. He replied, "No, I want to stay with her. Addie, I'm going to tell you some potty stories....Once upon a toot...."

Awesome.

Father's Night

Last night was Father's Night at Daniel's school. Steve and Daniel toured the different classrooms, listened to stories, and made a couple of Halloween crafts. During the tour, Daniel showed Steve a special tree he made for him and a nice letter the teachers helped him write about his dad. The teachers hung the pictures and letters in the hallway for everyone to see. Steve took a picture of Daniel's art and letter for me. Isn't it cute?


Allow me to highlight my very favorite part of Daniel's letter about his dad:

I wonder how much the teacher loved writing this down. Once Steve got over the initial embarrassment we had a good laugh. I laughed a little harder than he did.

The Storyteller & the Comedian

Daniel likes to recount past events over and over (sometimes ad nauseum,) replaying who did what, who said what and how everyone felt. It's freaky that he brings up events that happened more than a year ago we never assumed he'd remember. Talking about the past or about movies and tv shows he's seen is his favorite pastime in the car. It's rare to have more than 2 minutes of consecutive silence when Daniel is traveling with us. Addie tries to get a word in, but is quickly scolded by Daniel for interrupting. Today on our way home from the park she found an opening, and started in with her version of the story...

Daniel: Mom, remember on Transformers when the Decepticons crashed into the building? They smashed into the window, and crashed the walls.......(I admit I stopped paying attention here.)
Daniel stops to take a bite of granola bar.

Addie: Mom! Mom! Decepticons crash the building 'cuz.............they toot.
I laughed. I didn't mean to.

Daniel quickly started in with a new story. Which Addie interrupted with, "They toot! They toot! Hehehehehehe!" Daniel scolded her for interrupting to which she replied, "Toooooooooooooooots!!!!" at the top of her lungs. I had to turn on the radio so they wouldn't hear me laughing.

Naptime Studio on Etsy

I am officially on Etsy! For those of you who are unfamiliar with Etsy it is the biggest online art and craft gallery in the world. I love the collaboration, community, creativity, and incredible handmade goodies! For now, my shop features holiday cards and baby announcements. Some day I hope to sell gifts, prints and originals. Check it out: Naptime Studio

I Left My Heart...

Four days with my husband, our best friends, and San Francisco. And since the kids were enjoying sleepovers with Gram & Paw-Paw and Aunt Sara it was a true vacation. (Kids, if you are reading this one day, please hold judgment on that last statement until you have children of your own.) We had burritos in The Mission, bought trinkets in Chinatown, saw a man riding naked on his bike near Fisherman's Wharf, watched Ashley play soccer, drank wine at Gundlach Bundschu in Sonoma, drove down the coast and watched the sunset, went to Capatola Beach, Steve tried surfing (and actually did well for his first time out, ) we ate one of the best meals ever at Wood Tavern, and spent some good hours in between laughing. My favorite part was the laughing. I miss hanging out with Brian & Jen regularly. I learn so much from them about serving, leading, loving, parenting, cooking, I could go on and on. The McKillips relocated to San Francisco 3 years ago and have been trying to convince us to move there ever since. I would so love to. I love the culture, the people, the weather, the scenery, the proximity to beaches and mountains, the food, the pace, and the McKillips. For now I will try to apply a little SF mindset to my STL life. And start saving for our next visit.

Daniel's First Day of School

Daniel started school this week. This year he will attend three mornings a week and his homeroom class is The Rainbow Room, which is a pretty big deal in the land of Union Preschool. The Rainbow Room is where all of the "pretend play" toys reside, along with the fish, hamsters and science toys. There is a play house, a loft, and all kinds of God-made goodies in boxes and jars around the room.


This year he will be learning about numbers and letters, and he'll have a few field trips to the library. When his first day was done, as usual, all he had to report was that they had juice and pretzels for a snack. He described the pretzel shapes and juice flavors in great detail. I have no idea what else they did all morning.


Addie was disappointed when we left Daniel at school in the morning, not because she misses her brother, but because she wants to go to school so badly. Even so, she was happy to see him at the end of the day.

Safety Hudgies

Daniel invented these about a year ago. I'm just getting around to editing the video for web. This little apple did not fall far from "Safety Steve's" tree.

Wipeout

We love to watch Wipeout. Something about people voluntarily humiliating themselves is just good-heartedly funny. And Daniel loves the mud. If he were old enough he'd be the first one in line to take a header into the sludge and bounce off the big balls. If we lived in L.A. I'd convince Steve to go on the show, because I know he'd win. But we live here, and while our yard does have a mud pit and one big red rubber ball, the effect isn't the same. One afternoon we filled a baby pool with bubble bath and made up our own version of Wipeout. The kids jumped in, but had more fun splashing than wiping out.

Lessons Learned from the Garden

This photo was taken mid-season. Don't ask me why Daniel has only one sock. Our garden wasn't a huge success, but I learned a lot I can apply to next year's garden.

The tomatoes were plentiful, but a source of major frustration. Squirrels and opossums helped themselves to many; so many that I pondered getting a cat, but Steve reminded me that I would have to pet it and care for it at least a little, so no cat. Eventually the tomatoes were abundant enough that the rodents decided to leave some for us. Enough for homemade tomato sauce which turned out kind of ho-hum. I did discover that adding a little baking soda to tomato sauce cuts the acidity.

The sunflowers Daniel & Addie planted grew to a whopping 9 feet! By far our greatest success.

The herbs did well, the peppers are slowly turning red, and the rest was a little disappointing. No watermelons. But we're starting round 2 with some broccoli, pumpkins and lettuce.

Next spring we'll move the garden to our new sunny spot in the back. I've come to terms with my new landscape...sort of. We bought a new tree and have a plan for large bushes and twining vines to cover the fence. Praying Miracle Gro will rain down from the heavens so everything fills in fast.

Can You Hear Me?

Daniel and I are going through a rough patch. A lot of arguments over silly little things (No, you can't have cotton candy because you just ate a cookie) and a few arguments over bigger things (You may not hit your sister.) And on the worst days it has spiraled into shouting matches between us. The arguments usually begin when I start to dole out the consequences for disobedience and disrespect. Before I know it, he's screaming at me and we're leaving the playground just 15 minutes after we arrived...much to Addie's dismay. I wish I could get through to him. I've tried different consequences, disengaging from our conversation, and even a few desperate attempts to drown him out with loud music. This is when I'm supposed to have some wise revelation about how God disciplines and leads us as our Father, right? The last couple of times we argued, Daniel yelled at me, "MOM, I AM JUST GROWING UP!" So he gets it. Learning to be kind, healthy, wise, safe, patient, etc. is hard. I hear you, kid. Teaching those things while lacking mastery of any of them is even harder.

Bee vs. Spider vs. Bat

We are invited to a costume party Saturday. So tonight we dug the old Halloween costumes out of the closet. Addie chose to dress up as a bee. Despite my warnings of the possible heat index Saturday, Daniel chose to dress up in his polar fleece bat costume. And they both insisted I wear the spider hat. We started with a nice costume parade through the house; Daniel flapped, Addie buzzed and I was instructed to twirl my webs around. The parade quickly became a chase, and then it turned into an episode of wild kingdom...


The bee was captured in the hungry spider's web, where the spider tickled the bee relentlessly with all 8 of her legs. Then the bat swooped in to rescue the bee and eat the spider.


The bee joined in the spider attack with body slams and steamrollers until the spider surrendered with a peace offering of popsicles.

Mourning the Tree

One of the main reasons I wanted to buy our current house was because of the yard. It is big for a city lot, park-like and it had lots of large trees that made it shady and comfortable even in St. Louis summers. I planted shade-loving gardens beneath the trees and loved that the kids could play in the sand box and kiddie pool most of the day without fear of sunburn. About 2 years after we moved in 2 trees in our neighbor's yard died. I shuffled the shade-loving plants to other parts of the yard and enjoyed replanting a couple of beds with a variety of "full-sun" perennials.

The following summer a storm blew our cedar tree down (onto our roof.) We noted that Daniel's room felt warmer in the summer afternoons and I planted more "full-sun" perennials.

The following year a huge elm in our neighbor's front yard died. The city cut it down and now our living room and front porch get blasted with hot afternoon sun.

Then the heartbreaker. The HUGE black oak at the back corner of our yard started to show signs of disease. I prayed in earnest for this tree. I knew it's absence would completely transform our yard. And this spring it became clear that the tree wasn't winning the battle with the disease.


After 5 DAYS of cutting by a ridiculously inefficient tree care company the oak is gone. A man is coming tomorrow to grind out the stump. When the crew dropped the trunk into the yard it shook the ground. Neighbors came out of their houses to see what was going on.


Tonight our yard looks weary. A heavy coat of sawdust has choked out the grass. My last shade-loving garden is parched. And I'm just sad. I hate the new view of power lines and neighbors' fences and roofs. Our yard is no longer park-like and cool. Steve has already mentally moved on to tilling the yard and planting new things. I am usually a person with vision for what a space or a garden could be. But I'm not there yet. I'm still mourning the backyard I loved.

Steve's Real Life Action-Adventure

Steve is part of a group that is organizing a tactical medic unit that will be on call for hostage and police stand-off situations. The idea is that paramedics would be trained and outfitted to be first responders in the case where police officers and civilians have been injured, but the area has not yet been secured by police. If you remember the incident with Ryan Hummert last summer, a tactical medic unit could have been helpful (although in Ryan's case no one could have saved him no matter how quickly he received treatment.)

Steve had training today and at the end of training the SWAT officers invited him to join them tonight to serve a warrant to a man who is known to posses child pornography. They thought it would be good for him to see how they operate, even though this was not likely to be a violent situation. Steve came home for dinner and awaited a call on where he should go for the arrest. While I was making dinner his phone rang. Steve excitedly answered, chatted a little with the officer and then asked lightly, "So where are we going to meet?" This was such a funny question to me. Like they were planning to meet up and go out for a beer. And the answer was even more strange. He was to meet them at the parking lot of a church near the man's house. I guess I assumed the SWAT team would meet at an office, or police station or in a deserted warehouse somewhere. Nope. They just met up in the church parking lot, briefed everyone, drove over to the house, set up, knocked on the door and when no one answered they busted down the door and started taking evidence. The home owner pulled up in his car while they were there...bet he wishes he'd kept driving. No violence, no injuries, but Steve said he still felt a rush...and a little anxious.

The best part of this is he got to tell the kids he was going to help the police capture a bad guy. Needless to say, Daniel was excited.

Every Day is an Action-Adventure (Part 2)

Daniel: "Mom, if robbers come in our yard I'm going to grab 'em and stomp on 'em."
Mom: "Most robbers are adults. Do you think you might need some help? Perhaps it would be better if we just call the police."
Daniel: "Daddy can grab 'em and stomp 'em. Then I'll poke the robbers with something sharp like a sweet gum ball....or a stick."

Every Day is an Action-Adventure

Today on our way to the park...

Daniel: "Mom, you need to push on the gas pedal when they shoot missiles at us so we'll go really fast."
Mom: "Yes, that would probably be a good idea."
D: "That way the missiles won't explode us."
M: "Right." I wish I had thought to ask who would be shooting at us. At least we have a game plan.

The First Game

(I think it's funny that none of the kids are looking at the camera.)

I love that St. Louis loves baseball. I love that when I say "We're going to the game," everyone in this city understands I mean the Cardinal game. Daniel & Addie attended their first game this week and it was a near perfect experience. We rode the Metrolink to the stadium, which was a highlight for 2 train-crazy kids. Uncle Jason, Aunt Marie & Tucker met us there with hands-down, the best tickets we've ever had. Just look at how good our seats were...

I told Daniel that these are likely the best seats he will ever have so he should try to remember it. We ate yummy (overpriced) food, had a great time with our family, sang, clapped, cheered (which kind of frightened Daniel) and saw a really good game. Cards beat the Giants 5-2.

Happy Father's Day

My Dear Husband,
This picture of you always makes me laugh. Not just because of your pose, but because I know you took this picture of yourself, alone in our room. I can just imagine you striking that pose and waiting for the timer to go off on the camera. You're so funny. And I love you.

This has not been an easy season with our two little ones. But I feel like we're making some progress. And, by God's grace, we only completely lose it one at a time. So I think we're doing okay. Parenting is so hard, and I feel really blessed that I'm learning how to do this with you by my side. Thank you for loving me and our children so well....and for making us laugh.

Daniel: Not your average 4 year old.

My sweet Daniel,
As you well know, you are 4 years old now. At your check-up today you weighed 46 lbs. and measured 43 3/8 inches. You are in the 95% for height and weight which means you are a big boy, just like you keep telling me. Something magical happened to you when you turned 4. Now you can make your own bowl of cereal, you can get mostly dressed by yourself, you can help your little sister open the car door, you can ride a scooter, read a few letters and numbers, and recite countless facts about cars, animals and sea creatures. You have a huge imagination and can make the most mundane activity into an exciting chase ending in a fiery crash. And you are fast. At your first race they mistakenly put you up against 5 & 6 year olds. You didn't win, but you beat the kid who trash-talked you at the starting line. I love your tender heart that breaks when you hurt someone. And I am excited to see the next big boy thing you can do.
Love,
Mom

"Watch Mimo, peeease?"

This is the summer of Finding Nemo (or "Mimo" as the kids call it.) The kids are obsessed with the movie. Addie asks to watch it every 20 minutes or so. And gets really mad when I tell her no because we just finished watching it. But their obsession came at an ideal time. Last weekend we went to Atlanta to visit Uncle Jason, Aunt Marie & baby Tucker and to celebrate Tucker's baptism. The Georgia Aquarium is also in Atlanta. We spent a good part of Saturday there, petting the sting rays and sea stars, seeing some crazy gigantic manta rays and bazillions of other fish besides. Addie could have spent the whole day petting the shrimp. But Daniel loved everything. He was so into it. He asked lots of great questions and told us facts about the different sea creatures. But the end all be all for him were the whale sharks. He was so excited to see them he was shaking. Too bad the kids ran out of steam (and Mommy ran out of patience) before we got the see the coral reef exhibit. Guess we'll have to make another trip to see Mimo and his friends.

On The Menu

We started a vegetable garden this year. My first time growing anything but flowers and tomatoes. I thought it might entice the kids to eat a veggie or two if they helped in their creation. This is very wishful thinking. And just so it wouldn't be a total bust we planted watermelon seeds. Can you guess what is the only thing that doesn't seem to be growing in our garden?

I'm sure I went through this phase as a kid. I don't remember not liking vegetables, but I'm sure I wasn't always a fan of green beans. The only veggie Daniel will eat is corn, and I'm not even sure that counts. If you ask Addie what she wants to eat her answer is almost always "fruit snacks" which contain no fruit whatsoever...and really nothing else of any nutritional value.

The garden is growing and the kids are sincerely excited to see tiny green beans and tomatoes getting bigger everyday. Daniel asks every time, "But Mom, where are the watermelons?" The watermelons may be purchased on a late night trip to Schnucks in early August, and plopped suspiciously among the squash vines.

Neuropathways or Not

About six months after Daniel was born I was in the waiting room of my OB/GYN and saw a Discover magazine cover blurb that read "Why Moms are Smarter." Since I had been living the last year in the mental haze of pregnancy and subsequent sleep-deprivation I could use a little good news. According to the article, the hormones released during pregnancy and after create new neuro-pathways in the brain, making women biologically smarter. At the time, I was really looking forward to when that would kick in. And it seems almost 4 years, and an Adalyn Joy later I am still hazy, scattered, forgetful and a little slow most of the time.

Prekids I had a knack for remembering details. Now I look back at their baby pictures and can hardly recall them being so small. So this is a record of the little things from June 16, 2009 and forward.