I think most people know this about me, but don't be too appalled if you don't. I don't like babies. They are demanding, selfish, unappreciative, and over-emotional. If I described an adult to have those qualities you wouldn't want to be friends with a person like that. And no, it does not escape me that babies are incapable of being any other way. People with genuine hearts of compassion are drawn to the helplessness of babies and get all gooey and lovey. I get impatient. And the idea of going back to Baby Land after being out of it for a solid year and a half is cause for anxiety. This is not to downplay the ridiculousness and frustration of Toddler Town. I live there now and it's infuriating, but there are no diapers and I often hear "vank you" and "I wuv you" and sometimes even, "You're da bestest mom ever!" You don't get any of those in Baby Land.
So at 14 weeks, the sleeplessness and bad dreams have started. I know, it's fear. Fear of the disruption, the change, the cost, the loss of freedom and sleep, the epidural, the c-section and recovery, the claustrophobia of 3 car seats in a regular car, the claustrophobia of 5 people in our house, the change in our marriage and mostly the fear of the things I don't like about babies. I wish I could peel the next 2 years of my life off quickly like a band-aid. Mostly because I know I am not going to be "da bestest mom ever" to Daniel and Addie when I'm commuting between Baby Land and Toddler Town. In fact, I know I am going to be down right awful some days. The hormones of the first trimester have already lead to more yelling from all parties involved...except the baby's. Unless you count severe nausea as in utero yelling.
Hurry up 2010...and maybe 2011.
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Yea!!! I had no idea! Congratulations and I'll be praying for the next two years to fly by! :) Don't all mom's say that when their kids are teenagers..."those baby-toddler years fly by"? We'll keep our fingers crossed.
ReplyDeleteWhat the....??? You're preggo!? That's incredible! Know what, I know you'll do great...it's just one of those things that seems so daunting when it's off in the future. But God gives us the grace we need for each day and I know you'll have what you need when the time comes. Congratulations to your sweet family Jen!
ReplyDeleteYea!!!!! I didn't know! That's so exciting! Congrats!!!!!! But I totally get what you're saying... the baby days are so hard. SO hard. But what's amazing... Ben only has to show me a big smile, say his first word, clap his chunky hands, or laugh his cackly-laugh to melt my heart all over again. And it will be the same for Baby #3 and you!
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling okay! I'll pray for you and your fam!
(by the way... I found your blog through FB. Didn't know you had one!)
Yay! I was just thinking about this the other day wondering if you guys were workin on #3. So excited for you and at the same time I TOTALLY get it. I'm both excited and totally terrified to have #2 some day. You are a great mom Jen and that baby is one lucky little peanut.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations from a fellow non-baby person!!! Although, if you bring your new one over I will cuddle and ooh and ahh and love on the chubby sweetness because I know the infant will not stay in my home. You guys are awesome and I know you'll get through those first 18 months miserable months. It's just a blink, really...
ReplyDeleteCongrats Hahns! We're so excited for you all! Daniel and Addie will be great "helpers"...maybe that will make it easier this time around :). Although, I hear you, nothing ever really cures the effects of sleep deprivation! Thankfully, the great thing about babies is that they are very forgiving...and hopefully forgetful of all our bad days!
ReplyDeleteHow cool - congratulations! Or maybe I should wait another 24 months or so, and say congratulations then. I'm in exactly the same boat - maybe I'll copy your post and put it on my own blog!
ReplyDeleteWe made it through the 1st two babies - we can make it through the 3rd, right?